Transform your life? But how? I'm pretty sure most of you don't know how to use words to transform your life. If more of us did understand the power of words and how our relationship with language effects everything in our lives, we would all be doing so much better. That is exactly what the article here found on Changing Minds by William Fran Diedrich (transform your life with words), is about. He explores the use of powerful language and how it can transform negativity and inspire positive changes to transform your life.
How to Use Words to Transform Your Life
Most of us underestimate the power of our words. We sometimes miss how our words set a tone. A few words can make someone’s day, or shatter it. Words can inspire someone to buy, or to go away without buying.
Our words can move someone to do their best work, or to work against us. Your spoken words serve either to build up or to tear down. They serve to empower and inspire, or to disempower and hurt. Words are either life affirming or destructive. For this reason we should choose our words carefully.
“The word is the most powerful tool you have as a human...like a sword it has two edges, your word can create the most beautiful dream, or your word can destroy everything around you.”
(The Four Agreements, Don Miquel Ruiz)
When you are talking to someone ask yourself this question: “Who am I being and what is the impact of my words on the people around me?” The power of your words lies in the intention behind them. Is it your intention to create a resolution or to be right?
Do you intend to help the organization accomplish its mission or to satisfy the need to take someone down? We communicate best when we are clear about who we are and what we intend. This kind of clarity prevents us from saying words that are harmful to ourselves and others. It may prevent us from engaging in harmful gossip and complaining.
Gossip is usually destructive. It is often a careless use of our words. We just aren’t thinking about how we are affecting others. Sometimes gossip is mean spirited and intended to cause hurt. Whether gossip is careless or intentional, it causes pain. We may be hoping for a little humor or self justification, but the results of gossip are anger, suspicion, embarrassment, and fear.
These creations of gossip negatively affect morale, service, and productivity. You cannot both care about someone and gossip about them. If you think back to the last time you either heard or offered gossip, it probably didn’t make you feel good. Gossip disempowers us.
Similar to gossip is chronic complaining. Complaining about people and situations makes us feel and look powerless. Managers who complain in front of their employees lose credibility as leaders. Chronic complaining leads us into a dead end street where there is nothing to be done.
We become victims who are powerless to change anything. While venting frustrations to a trusted friend can be helpful in releasing negative feelings, complaining to everyone tends to reinforce negative feelings. Like gossip, chronic complaining disempowers us.
Our power to do harm is exceeded only by our power to do good. A simple, sincere apology (given without expectation of return) can heal a relationship. An uplifting word at the right moment can change a life, launch a career, or convince someone to go beyond perceived limitations. By consciously looking for evidence of greatness in others, and by using our words to tell them, we help others to build confidence. When we sincerely speak well of others we uplift ourselves.
Consider practicing the following:
- Affirm life in your thoughts and your words. (To affirm life is to build up, to nurture, to support, and to bless)
- Refuse to gossip. Commit to saying only words that are uplifting or helpful to others.
- Refuse to listen to gossip. Compassionately tell others it is beneath them to gossip.
- Refuse to indulge in complaining about another person.
- Refuse to dwell on self critical thoughts. Learn from mistakes and move on.
- Intentionally look for positive qualities to think about yourself. Make a list often.
- Intentionally look for positive qualities in others. Tell them.
- Don’t take the words of others personally. Their words are more about them than about you. Let go of your grudges and your hurts and wish others well. This practice will make you happier.
- Do not allow negative emotion to control you. Accept it. Be willing to let it go. Stop feeding it with negative words. Choose words that will refocus you on who you are and what you really want.
Transform Your Life For The Better
Not all transformations are for the best. For most people, if you knew how to positively tranform your life safely and effectively, you would have done it already. When you transform your life, it's not always easy, and sometimes you need to rely on others to help you. Many times we are not even aware of how we got to the point where you feel the need to transform your life. It's like one day you just realized that things were not going the way you wanted. The decision to transform your life and follow through with the changes you want is a big decision.
If you want people to trust you you need to become a more positive person. Refrain from gossiping and complaining because they both attract negative energy. You can learn how to use words to transform your life. Your transformation you will notice these simple changes are like beacons of light for others to see. People around you will feel more hopeful and positive about you an interact with you differently.
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