Become The Person You Want to Be

Have you ever wondered how to become the person you want to be? What does that mean, the person you want to be? Aren't we all just who we are or who the person you want to be by default? Aren't we supposed to accept ourselves as we are and be happy? 

Most people look in the mirror and see the physical flaws that they would change in a heartbeat if they could.  You stand there and visualize and imagine the person you want to be which is ever changing itself. We try all sorts of products and techniques to improve our outer appearance. Billions of dollars are spent each year on appearance. But what about a look at who you really are? Yes, deep down!

Understand that that deep down person is the one who is attracting the opposite sex and that is the person that you need to know in order to get what you want in life. This piece by Ani Mal found on Changing Mind(attract the person you want) is an exercise in honesty. Can you handle it?  Do you know deep down who that person you want to be really is?


Become the Person You Want to Be

Step 1: Describe your dream mate in extreme detail

  • Who are they in terms of personality and demeanor?
  • What do they look like?
  • Where are some places you would find them spending their time professionally and socially?
  • Why are they single?
  • When would they likely cross paths you?
  • How do they attract you?

Step 2: Describe what your dream mate would be looking for in their dream mate

Now with the same gusto and determination that you did in Step 1, now answer these questions in Step 2 about who your dream mate is looking to attract:

  • Who are they in terms of personality and demeanor?
  • What do they look like?
  • Where are some places you would find them spending their time professionally and socially?
  • Why are they single?
  • When would they likely cross paths you?
  • How do they attract you?

Step 3: Bridge the personal evolution gap

So are you the type of person your dream mate is attracted to? If not, you need to create a game plan on how you can evolve and develop yourself into the type of person who can attract whatever and whoever they want into their life. Some suggestions to get you started:

  • Gauge your personality and demeanor; are they in alignment with what your dream mate is looking for? What are self-development and improvement items you would need to work on to improve in this area?
  • Gauge your appearance -- focus on things you can influence through adaptations in style, health, and fitness habits. For things that you cannot influence through changes in behavior, look for ways to compensate. For example, some women are attracted to men who are larger than them - why is that? Hypothetically, lets say through some analysis it was found that these women typically had this attraction to larger men because they made them feel safe and secure. If a man isn’t larger than his dream mate, and that is what she desires -- are there other ways to make her feel safe and secure?
  • Are your hobbies and interests in alignment with what your dream mate is interested in?

Are You Ready To Be the Person You Want To Be?

Some of these may be difficult to answer at first but let them linger on your mind for a while. Re-read your answers a few times and really be honest with yourself. Share them with a friend to get some feedback if you want but don't change any answer unless you really want to because these responses will help you become the person you want to be and attract the person you want to attract into your life.

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    Proven Persuasion Techniques Used in Conversational Hypnosis


    Proven persuasion techniques used in conversational hypnosis in the article below is something I thought you would enjoy.  They are very straightforward and I've only selected a few to highlight today but even if you just choose one or two you can really get good at, you'll notice changes in the way others respond to you. So, here are some of the 30 proven persuasion techniques used in conversational hypnosis, found on Changing (persuasion techniques) that you can use to be more persuasive. 

    Persuasion Techniques

    "Whether we realize it or not, we use persuasive techniques every day to get the things we want by influencing others. While it may seem like some people are born to charm their way through life, persuading others with an enviable ease, the whole shebang at its heart is a science — something that anyone can learn to master with enough practice. If you’re looking to brush up your persuasion skills, whether to get your foot in the door at a business, sell a product, or even get a promotion, here are some tricks and tips that can help give you that desirable silver tongue. Backed up by loads of social science research, these techniques are sure to give you an edge in any negotiation or debate.

    Be the first to give

    Reciprocity is a powerful force in our society and one that can be used to sway others. Doing a favor for someone you want to persuade can help to put them in your debt, and may make them more willing to help you out in the future. One study found that waiters who gave diners mints before they placed the bill on the table got consistently more tips than those who didn’t.

    Admit your weaknesses

    When others see you as being more trustworthy, they’ll be much more likely to go along with what you’re trying to persuade them to do, whether it’s hire you or buy what you’re selling. It may sound counter-intuitive, but studies have confirmed the validity of admitting weakness. One such study sent out identical resumes with different cover letters, with one of the letters admitting a weakness. The honest cover letter-resume combo received many more call backs than the other which focused only on the positives.

    Highlight not only what others have to gain, but also what they have to lose

    Most people who are looking for a job highlight only what employers have to gain by hiring them, but research supports the importance of also pointing out what others stand to lose in a deal. Potential losses actually create a bigger impact than potential gains in the decision-making process, so no matter what you’re trying to convince others to do, show both sides of the coin.

    Showcase the reactions of others

    Humans are highly social animals, and we often make decisions based on the actions and beliefs of others. For instance, hotel guests are more likely to reuse their towels if they are shown a message stating that many others are already doing this, rather than one that promotes the environmental aspects of reuse alone. For those in the working world, testimonials and recommendations can be powerful factors in helping others to make decisions.

    Find common ground

    Likeability is often a key factor in winning people over and studies have shown time and again that one of the key factors in influencing how much a person likes another is how many similarities they share. So if you’re seeking to persuade, take time to find out about the other person’s interests and determine what common ground you two may share.

    Get a foot in the door

    Sometimes effectively persuading someone comes in baby steps, and getting them to stay yes to something small can lead to a greater chance that they’ll be on board with a larger idea in the future. A study on this phenomenon found that homeowners who agreed to place a small sign in their windows asking drivers to slow down were much more likely to agree to put a larger, more obtrusive sign in their yards later on than those who were not asked to display the smaller sign.


    You’re not likely to influence anyone unless you have a smile on your face, but that smile has to be authentic. Humans are masters at detecting a fake smile. A genuine smile makes you more likeable, trustworthy, and ultimately more successful at convincing others.

    Keep things simple

    Want your writing and speech to be the most persuasive? Keep it simple. Studies have shown that writing is much more persuasive when penned at the eighth grade level, even with those who are capable of understanding much more complex language. Simplicity makes things easy to understand and easy to remember, and is a highly effective tool in getting your way.

    Focus on the positive

    Even if there are negative aspects of what you’re trying to persuade others to do, spinning these elements as positive helps create a more overall positive view. Take this study as an example. Researchers created three different ads, one playing up a restaurant’s cozy atmosphere, one simply advertising the restaurant but mentioning its lack of parking spaces, and one combing both the cozy aspect and the lack of parking. The third was the most positively viewed, as the participants felt the lack of parking made the restaurant even cozier.

    Persuasion Techniques You Will Use

    Who are you trying to influence or persuade? What changes are you looking for? Only you can answer those questions and if you really want results you can't go wrong with these proven persuasion techniques used in conversational hypnosis. 




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      Covert Hypnosis is Only One Form of Persuasion

      Persuasion comes in many forms, such as covert hypnosis. There are many ways to use the sound of your voice, body language, specific words,  touch, and appearance as persuasion for others to follow your thinking and do what you suggest. The art and science (and it is both) of persuasion calls upon many skills and resources. The article featured today found on (persuasion) shows that covert hypnosis is only one form of persuasion that you can learn to bring more confidence and success to your life and to the lives of others.


      Persuasion: Getting Someone to Agree With You

      "Being able to be persuasive is a skill that is important in the working world and can help you in your personal relationships as well. Persuasiveness is the ability to make someone else agree with what you are saying, whether they are agreeing that a certain product is a good investment or they are agreeing with a personal belief you have."

      "The famous Greek philosopher Aristotle said there are three things you must use to be persuasive: ethos, pathos and logos. Ethos uses trust to convince someone, pathos appeals to a person’s emotions, and logos uses evidence and logic as a means to persuade someone."

      Verbal Techniques

      "When you are trying to persuade someone of something, you must talk to them to get them to see your point. There are many verbal techniques you can use to make your point of view seem right and appealing. For instance, using big words makes you seem knowledgeable and therefore right. Other verbal techniques include using a loud, convincing voice, repeating certain phrases or words, interrupting the other person and making sure you get the last word."

      Physical Techniques

      "Although you can’t use physical action to make someone listen to your point, you can use subtle physical techniques to persuade someone. For example, standing on a podium when delivering a message makes you seem tall and authoritative, and people are more apt to be persuaded by your words. Other physical techniques include using wide hand gestures or looking people directly in the eyes to establish trust."

      Combination Techniques

      "The most effective way to persuade your audience is to use a combination of verbal and physical techniques. The next time you watch a powerful figure deliver a speech, notice how they combine physical gestures along with words to really get their point across. When you are trying to convince someone of your point, use an authoritative tone and convincing words and look them in the eye as you talk."

      Other Techniques

      "Although verbal and physical techniques are the main techniques people use to be persuasive, there are other factors that play into how persuasive you are. Another way to be persuasive is using your personal appearance. Someone who is dressed in a suit and tie is more persuasive than someone in casual clothes because his appearance makes him look more credible. Your general stubbornness is also an attribute in being persuasive because if you refuse to give up, you are more likely to succeed in persuading someone of something."

      Persuasion Over Time

      Persuasion isn't an "all or nothing" endeavor either, it sometimes comes in stages and sometimes people will agree with you on one subject but not on another. The article mentions that your level of determination can be a factor as well as your confidence in yourself, this is very true. If you try a persuasion technique and it doesn't work right away don't lose confidence, project it! You'll notice the difference in others reactions to you immediately and because covert hypnosis is only one form of persuasion, make sure you are aware of and integrating all possible and appropriate persuasion techniques for your purpose.

      Have you begun using covert hypnosis or persuasion techniques? What is holding you back from persuasion?

      Add your comments and questions below and don't forget to Share and Tweet this post to your friends





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        Conversational Hypnosis Tips To Take You to The Next Level

        Today I want to share with you some conversational hypnosis tips to take you to the next level of expertise. These five special tips really get to the core of conversational hypnosis and I found them on a site called keys to the (conversational hypnosis).  Nathan Thomas writes that each of these tips has the potential to increase your effectiveness as a hypnotist and can automatically make you more persuasive than you can imagine. Combine these conversational hypnosis tips to take you to the next level with your own personal knowledge of communication and you will be very successful.

        Conversational Hypnosis Tips!

        "Think about the situations in which you already naturally apply these secrets, and imagine all the other places in which you could make the most of them to be more persuasive, and more hypnotic.

        Pay attention – because these are really good (if I may say so myself…)"

        Make It Easy to Connect With.

        "Practical ideas that people can visualize or imagine are 1000 times more powerful than abstract concepts. Relate your suggestions to things that people can easily relate to. Join them in their world, and allow their mind to join the dots, and connect powerfully and emotionally to what you describe.

        Think of what kind of life the person you are communicating with lives, and come up with comfortable and frequent ideas that they can easily place within their own experience. We’ll discuss an example on the next tip:"

        Make It Powerful

        "Depending on what it is you are trying to accomplish, you may benefit more from either everyday images and ideas that people can easily relate too, or powerful and unusual images and reference experiences which stand out and command attention.

        For example, if you are using standard hypnosis to help someone relax, an everyday example would be “it’s like you’re just about to fall asleep, and you’re feeling peaceful.”That can be very effective, because people can easily connect to it.

        A more outstanding (so to speak) example would be to paint a vivid story of, say, someone arriving on a pacific island, settling into a hammock with a cocktail, and watching the tropical sun set over the beach. This may be harder to relate to, but being more unusual, can be a lot more compelling."

        Go There First!

        "This one I cannot emphasize enough! In fact, not doing this is probably the single biggest reason why some people communicate ineffectively, and the hypnosis they try does not work.

        Your emotional state effects nearly all levels of your communication, from your body language to your tonality and even your choice of words. This has an extremely powerful impact on the effects of what you say, and how other people interpret it.

        If you want someone to feel relaxed, feel relaxed yourself! Simple, yet crucial."

        Pause, Observe, Adapt.

        "All people are different, and all people respond to different things. Whether you are trying out an instant induction, a hypnotic language pattern or simply a persuasive story, keep an eye out for signs and responses. If it doesn’t seem to be working – excellent! You’ve just gained valuable information, so don’t panic, just switch tact! With enough persistence, provided you remain congruent and confident, you’ll find a suitable approach for nearly everyone."

        Have a Powerful, Positive Intention

        "This one should go without saying, but I’m going to say it anyone. Whether you are doing overt hypnosis or simply interacting in an everyday situation, your intention should be primarily focused on the well being of the person you are communicating with."

        "This will not only alter your body language, but it will help you to relax, and maintain a healthy perspective. Plus, ethical use of these techniques is a huge plus, not just for whoever you are working with, but also for yourself, and the hypnosis / NLP / influence world generally."

        Conversational Hypnosis and Intention

        I'd like to say a few words about intention and conversational hypnosis. Positive intention is really important when you are using these techniques, if you decide to cross an ethical, moral line you may initially get what you want but you are damaging your own integrity. If you are suspected of using these conversational hypnosis methods for anything other than positive purposes you will never be trusted again. That is not the way to use these conversational hypnosis tips to take you to the next level. 

        Let us know what you think of this article on conversational hypnosis and don't forget to share it with your friends on Facebook and Twitter

        Leave a comment below if you enjoyed this article.


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          Conversational Hypnosis Breaks Through Mental Barriers

          conversational hypnosis

          Conversational hypnosis breaks through mental barriers by overcoming a persons "BS detector" or by grabbing their attention so completely that their focus remains on the source of their attention. Kevin Hogan, expert hypnotist demonstrates this effective technique in the article below with his story about the cover of Cosmo in the airport.

          Is This Conversational Hypnosis?

          "Seduction can be defined in one of three ways. Seduction can be used to lead someone astray from their principles, much like Darth Vader attempted to do to young Luke Skywalker in Star Wars. I'm not too big on revealing secrets on how to win converts to the dark side...."

          "Seduction can also refer to inducing or tempting someone to have sex, much like Delilah did to Samson in The Bible. This area of seduction is certainly more interesting and playful than leading someone astray from their core values...but still not really where my core interest lies."

          "No, the seduction I refer to in The Art of Hypnotic Seduction is the inducement and enticement to win over someone to your side...or to your point of view. But what about the "hypnotic" part?"

          "Hypnosis can be defined as a "narrowing focus of attention" or "resonating with the anti-suggestive barrier of the mind." In the first case, a narrowing focus of attention, I think of walking through the airport today and seeing Carmen (Electra) on the cover of Stuff magazine."

          "I walked into Simply Books to find the August issue of Cosmo (they interviewed me for this months issue) but my mind totally spaced the world out as my mind was captured by Carmen on the cover of Stuff. (Carmen stars on a TV show called Living Large...something I've never seen or heard of but I will check it out...) I was literally hypnotized by the cover of Stuff magazine. Who was on Time? Newsweek? Good Housekeeping? Sports Illustrated? Business Week? Yahoo? Money? ...I have no clue."

          "No one who walked into Simply Books did. It was just you and Carmen right there at the check out counter. I walked over to Carmen and picked her up. There was a little "tag" above her shoulder on the right side of the magazine that said, "Unfold for More". So, I did, opening the magazine to see a Carmen with even fewer square inches of garment on than the cover boasted. In the upper right hand corner it said, "Stop staring and buy the magazine." 

          "It was absolutely brilliant. I almost took it to the checkout counter when I remembered that I subscribed and I thought it would be nice to have it in the mailbox today. That's the hypnotic power of magazine cover...not a real, living, breathing...person... That's hypnosis."

          "Hypnosis is all about narrowing another person or group of people's attention to where what you are saying is the only thing they are paying attention to and then when you give the suggestion to "stop staring and buy the magazine," they do so."

          Breaking Through the Barrier

          "Hypnosis is also about resonating with the antisuggestive barrier of the mind. Each person has a metaphorical "mechanism in the mind" that "protects" the mind from all that might be bad for them. My antisuggestive barrier instantly filters out telemarketers, stock brokers, television preachers, anyone who knocks on my front door, and hundreds of other stimuli."

          "In other words, there is a "wall" in my mind that is very tall...a "BS detector" that goes off like a fog horn when I see, feel or hear anything that my BS detector has coded as EVIL. (The BS detector of course is often's just a detector like the ones at the airport. It's a warning device that there MIGHT be something wrong here...but certainly not always."

          "If you can make it past my BS detector without setting it off, you will have my full attention and it will not likely be diverted anywhere else.) That's hypnosis, too. When the BS detector says, "I like this guy," I might just filter out the rest of the world and you will have my complete and undivided attention."

          Conversational Hypnosis Breaks Through Mental Barriers!

          There is no doubt that conversational hypnosis works by breaking through mental barriers. We all use our brain to automatically filter out what we don't care about or are not interested in. When conversational hypnosis is used correctly it bypasses that filter and gets the person to focus on whatever you want them to.

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