Become The Person You Want to Be

Have you ever wondered how to become the person you want to be? What does that mean, the person you want to be? Aren't we all just who we are or who the person you want to be by default? Aren't we supposed to accept ourselves as we are and be happy? 

Most people look in the mirror and see the physical flaws that they would change in a heartbeat if they could.  You stand there and visualize and imagine the person you want to be which is ever changing itself. We try all sorts of products and techniques to improve our outer appearance. Billions of dollars are spent each year on appearance. But what about a look at who you really are? Yes, deep down!

Understand that that deep down person is the one who is attracting the opposite sex and that is the person that you need to know in order to get what you want in life. This piece by Ani Mal found on Changing Mind(attract the person you want) is an exercise in honesty. Can you handle it?  Do you know deep down who that person you want to be really is?

 

Become the Person You Want to Be

Step 1: Describe your dream mate in extreme detail

  • Who are they in terms of personality and demeanor?
  • What do they look like?
  • Where are some places you would find them spending their time professionally and socially?
  • Why are they single?
  • When would they likely cross paths you?
  • How do they attract you?

Step 2: Describe what your dream mate would be looking for in their dream mate

Now with the same gusto and determination that you did in Step 1, now answer these questions in Step 2 about who your dream mate is looking to attract:

  • Who are they in terms of personality and demeanor?
  • What do they look like?
  • Where are some places you would find them spending their time professionally and socially?
  • Why are they single?
  • When would they likely cross paths you?
  • How do they attract you?

Step 3: Bridge the personal evolution gap

So are you the type of person your dream mate is attracted to? If not, you need to create a game plan on how you can evolve and develop yourself into the type of person who can attract whatever and whoever they want into their life. Some suggestions to get you started:

  • Gauge your personality and demeanor; are they in alignment with what your dream mate is looking for? What are self-development and improvement items you would need to work on to improve in this area?
  • Gauge your appearance -- focus on things you can influence through adaptations in style, health, and fitness habits. For things that you cannot influence through changes in behavior, look for ways to compensate. For example, some women are attracted to men who are larger than them - why is that? Hypothetically, lets say through some analysis it was found that these women typically had this attraction to larger men because they made them feel safe and secure. If a man isn’t larger than his dream mate, and that is what she desires -- are there other ways to make her feel safe and secure?
  • Are your hobbies and interests in alignment with what your dream mate is interested in?

Are You Ready To Be the Person You Want To Be?

Some of these may be difficult to answer at first but let them linger on your mind for a while. Re-read your answers a few times and really be honest with yourself. Share them with a friend to get some feedback if you want but don't change any answer unless you really want to because these responses will help you become the person you want to be and attract the person you want to attract into your life.


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    How to Use Words to Transform Your Life

    transform your life

    Transform your life?  But how?  I'm pretty sure most of you don't know how to use words to transform your life. If more of us did understand the power of words and how our relationship with language effects everything in our lives, we would all be doing so much better. That is exactly what the article here found on Changing Minds by William Fran Diedrich (transform your life with words), is about. He explores the use of  powerful language and how it can transform negativity and inspire positive changes to transform your life.

    How to Use Words to Transform Your Life

    Most of us underestimate the power of our words. We sometimes miss how our words set a tone. A few words can make someone’s day, or shatter it. Words can inspire someone to buy, or to go away without buying.

    Our words can move someone to do their best work, or to work against us. Your spoken words serve either to build up or to tear down. They serve to empower and inspire, or to disempower and hurt. Words are either life affirming or destructive. For this reason we should choose our words carefully.

    “The word is the most powerful tool you have as a human...like a sword it has two edges, your word can create the most beautiful dream, or your word can destroy everything around you.”
    (The Four Agreements, Don Miquel Ruiz)

    When you are talking to someone ask yourself this question: “Who am I being and what is the impact of my words on the people around me?” The power of your words lies in the intention behind them. Is it your intention to create a resolution or to be right?

    Do you intend to help the organization accomplish its mission or to satisfy the need to take someone down? We communicate best when we are clear about who we are and what we intend. This kind of clarity prevents us from saying words that are harmful to ourselves and others. It may prevent us from engaging in harmful gossip and complaining.

    Gossip is usually destructive. It is often a careless use of our words. We just aren’t thinking about how we are affecting others. Sometimes gossip is mean spirited and intended to cause hurt. Whether gossip is careless or intentional, it causes pain. We may be hoping for a little humor or self justification, but the results of gossip are anger, suspicion, embarrassment, and fear.

    These creations of gossip negatively affect morale, service, and productivity. You cannot both care about someone and gossip about them. If you think back to the last time you either heard or offered gossip, it probably didn’t make you feel good. Gossip disempowers us.

    Similar to gossip is chronic complaining. Complaining about people and situations makes us feel and look powerless. Managers who complain in front of their employees lose credibility as leaders. Chronic complaining leads us into a dead end street where there is nothing to be done.

    We become victims who are powerless to change anything. While venting frustrations to a trusted friend can be helpful in releasing negative feelings, complaining to everyone tends to reinforce negative feelings. Like gossip, chronic complaining disempowers us.

    Our power to do harm is exceeded only by our power to do good. A simple, sincere apology (given without expectation of return) can heal a relationship. An uplifting word at the right moment can change a life, launch a career, or convince someone to go beyond perceived limitations. By consciously looking for evidence of greatness in others, and by using our words to tell them, we help others to build confidence. When we sincerely speak well of others we uplift ourselves.

    Consider practicing the following:

    • Affirm life in your thoughts and your words. (To affirm life is to build up, to nurture, to support, and to bless)
    • Refuse to gossip. Commit to saying only words that are uplifting or helpful to others.
    • Refuse to listen to gossip. Compassionately tell others it is beneath them to gossip.
    • Refuse to indulge in complaining about another person.
    • Refuse to dwell on self critical thoughts. Learn from mistakes and move on.
    • Intentionally look for positive qualities to think about yourself. Make a list often.
    • Intentionally look for positive qualities in others. Tell them.
    • Don’t take the words of others personally. Their words are more about them than about you. Let go of your grudges and your hurts and wish others well. This practice will make you happier.
    • Do not allow negative emotion to control you. Accept it. Be willing to let it go. Stop feeding it with negative words. Choose words that will refocus you on who you are and what you really want.

    Transform Your Life For The Better

    Not all transformations are for the best.  For most people, if you knew how to positively tranform your life safely and effectively, you would have done it already.  When you transform your life, it's not always easy, and sometimes you need to rely on others to help you.  Many times we are not even aware of how we got to the point where you feel the need to transform your life.  It's like one day you just realized that things were not going the way you wanted.  The decision to transform your life and follow through with the changes you want is a big decision.

    If you want people to trust you you need to become a more positive person. Refrain from gossiping and complaining because they both attract negative energy. You can learn how to use words to transform your life. Your transformation you will notice these simple changes are like beacons of light for others to see. People around you will feel more hopeful and positive about you an interact with you differently.

    Add your comments and questions below.

     

     


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      Hypnosis and Suicide are Linked in Florida Principal Case

      Hypnosis and suicide are linked in Florida Principal case although felony charges have been avoided. Here is a case in Florida that shows a perfect example of why hypnosis should be used very carefully.

      hypnosis

       

      The charges against Mr. Kenney are; unlawful practice of hypnosis. More serious charges could be filed if he has been involved in treatment of some kind with hypnosis.

      However, even with the lesser charges, it does seem a little odd that two students he used hypnosis on have committed suicide and I am concerned about that. The Boston Globe reported on this breaking news (hypnosis/suicide).

      Hypnosis and Suicide?

      NORTH PORT, Florida—A Florida high school principal accused of using of hypnosis on students entered a written plea of not guilty to two misdemeanor charges on Thursday.

      George Kenney, 52, was charged earlier this week with two counts of unlawful practice of hypnosis.

       

       

       

       

       

      Officials say George Kenney hypnotized two North Port High students before the two, independently of one another, committed suicide last year. Officials say Kenney had been warned by his boss to stop using such one-on-one hypnosis with students.

       

       

       

       

       

      But Kenney's attorney, Mark Zimmerman, said that the principal's supervisor only expressed concern and never gave him a written directive to stop the hypnosis. Kenney, who currently is on administrative duty not at the school, plans to retire from the school district at the end of the school year, Zimmerman said.

       

       

       

       

       

      Kenney is not guilty because the law requires proof that the hypnosis was for therapeutic purposes and that wasn't the reason for the hypnosis, Zimmerman said.

       

       

       

       

       

      "The purpose always was to either boost athletic performance or academic performance," Zimmerman said. "My interpretation of therapeutic is that implies a form of treatment. He wasn't treating anybody."

       

       

       

       

       

      Prosecutors decided not to file felony charges of unlicensed practice of health care. The misdemeanor charges of unlicensed practice of hypnosis carry a maximum of up to a year in jail.

      Hypnosis Should Be Used Carefully

      It is true that hypnosis can be used for improving concentration and boosting performance in class or in sports. However, I feel it isn't right to use any kind of hypnosis on a student unless the parents sign a waiver of some kind. It just doesn't make sense to me and I hope to be able to find out how hypnosis and suicide are linked in Florida Principal case. 

       


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        Learn How to Recognize Great Leadership

        Leadership...  Where Do We Learn How to recognize great leadership in this crazy upside down world? That is a question we all need to answer nearly everyday in business and in life. We have to learn how to show great leadership and how to recognize great leadership qualities in others. Great leaders are needed all the time, here are some tips found on Changing Minds (Leadership) for how to show better leadership and how to select the best leaders for your team.

         Learn how to recognize great leadership

        What is the difference between management and leadership? It is a question that has been asked more than once and also answered in different ways. The biggest difference between management and leadership is the way they motivate the people who work or follow them, and this sets the tone for most other aspects of what they do.

        Many people, by the way, are both. They have management jobs, but they realize that you cannot buy hearts, especially to follow them down a difficult path, and so they must have leadership too.

        Managers have subordinates

        By definition, managers have subordinates - unless their title is honorary and given as a mark of seniority, in which case the title is a misnomer and their power over others is other than formal authority.

        Authoritarian, transactional style

        Managers have a position of authority vested in them by the company, and their subordinates work for them and largely do as they are told. Management style is transactional, in that the manager tells the subordinate what to do, and the subordinate does this not because they are a blind robot, but because they have been promised a reward (at minimum their salary) for doing so.

        Work focus

        Managers are paid to get things done (they are subordinates too), often within tight constraints of time and money. They thus naturally pass on this work focus to their subordinates.

        Seek comfort

        An interesting research finding about managers is that they tend to come from stable home backgrounds and led relatively normal and comfortable lives. This leads them to be relatively risk-averse and they will seek to avoid conflict where possible. In terms of people, they generally like to run a 'happy ship'.

        Leaders have followers

        Leaders do not have subordinates - at least not when they are leading. Many organizational leaders do have subordinates, but only because they are also managers. But when they want to lead, they have to give up formal authoritarian control, because to lead is to have followers, and following is always a voluntary activity.  People who show great leadership know this fact well.

        Charismatic, transformational style

        Telling people what to do does not inspire them to follow you. You have to appeal to them, showing how following them will lead to their hearts' desire. They must want to follow you enough to stop what they are doing and perhaps walk into danger and situations that they would not normally consider risking.

        Leaders with a stronger charisma find it easier to attract people to their cause. As a part of their persuasion they typically promise transformationalbenefits, such that their followers will not just receive extrinsic rewards but will somehow become better people.

        People focus

        Although many leaders have a charismatic style to some extent, this does not require a loud personality. They are always good with people, and quietstyles that give credit to others (and takes blame on themselves) are very effective at creating the loyalty that great leaders engender.

        Although leaders are good with people, this does not mean they are friendly with them. In order to keep the mystique of leadership, they often retain a degree of separation and aloofness.

        This does not mean that leaders do not pay attention to tasks - in fact they are often very achievement-focused. What they do realize, however, is the importance of enthusing others to work towards their vision.

        Seek risk

        In the same study that showed managers as risk-averse, leaders appeared as risk-seeking, although they are not blind thrill-seekers. When pursuing their vision, they consider it natural to encounter problems and hurdles that must be overcome along the way. They are thus comfortable with risk and will see routes that others avoid as potential opportunities for advantage and will happily break rules in order to get things done.

        A surprising number of these leaders had some form of handicap in their lives which they had to overcome. Some had traumatic childhoods, some had problems such as dyslexia, others were shorter than average. This perhaps taught them the independence of mind that is needed to go out on a limb and not worry about what others are thinking about you.

        Learning To Recognize Leadership Is Important

        I think it is very important to learn how to recognize great leadership in all aspects of life. To gain an understanding of teamwork and how to motivate others. Those qualities intermingled with business and personal growth will enhance every project and achievement. Persuasion will play a big role in your leadership success, no matter what your approach is.

        Who do you admire for their leadership?

         


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          Proven Persuasion Techniques Used in Conversational Hypnosis

           

          Proven persuasion techniques used in conversational hypnosis in the article below is something I thought you would enjoy.  They are very straightforward and I've only selected a few to highlight today but even if you just choose one or two you can really get good at, you'll notice changes in the way others respond to you. So, here are some of the 30 proven persuasion techniques used in conversational hypnosis, found on Changing Minds.org (persuasion techniques) that you can use to be more persuasive. 

          Persuasion Techniques

          "Whether we realize it or not, we use persuasive techniques every day to get the things we want by influencing others. While it may seem like some people are born to charm their way through life, persuading others with an enviable ease, the whole shebang at its heart is a science — something that anyone can learn to master with enough practice. If you’re looking to brush up your persuasion skills, whether to get your foot in the door at a business, sell a product, or even get a promotion, here are some tricks and tips that can help give you that desirable silver tongue. Backed up by loads of social science research, these techniques are sure to give you an edge in any negotiation or debate.

          Be the first to give

          Reciprocity is a powerful force in our society and one that can be used to sway others. Doing a favor for someone you want to persuade can help to put them in your debt, and may make them more willing to help you out in the future. One study found that waiters who gave diners mints before they placed the bill on the table got consistently more tips than those who didn’t.

          Admit your weaknesses

          When others see you as being more trustworthy, they’ll be much more likely to go along with what you’re trying to persuade them to do, whether it’s hire you or buy what you’re selling. It may sound counter-intuitive, but studies have confirmed the validity of admitting weakness. One such study sent out identical resumes with different cover letters, with one of the letters admitting a weakness. The honest cover letter-resume combo received many more call backs than the other which focused only on the positives.

          Highlight not only what others have to gain, but also what they have to lose

          Most people who are looking for a job highlight only what employers have to gain by hiring them, but research supports the importance of also pointing out what others stand to lose in a deal. Potential losses actually create a bigger impact than potential gains in the decision-making process, so no matter what you’re trying to convince others to do, show both sides of the coin.

          Showcase the reactions of others

          Humans are highly social animals, and we often make decisions based on the actions and beliefs of others. For instance, hotel guests are more likely to reuse their towels if they are shown a message stating that many others are already doing this, rather than one that promotes the environmental aspects of reuse alone. For those in the working world, testimonials and recommendations can be powerful factors in helping others to make decisions.

          Find common ground

          Likeability is often a key factor in winning people over and studies have shown time and again that one of the key factors in influencing how much a person likes another is how many similarities they share. So if you’re seeking to persuade, take time to find out about the other person’s interests and determine what common ground you two may share.

          Get a foot in the door

          Sometimes effectively persuading someone comes in baby steps, and getting them to stay yes to something small can lead to a greater chance that they’ll be on board with a larger idea in the future. A study on this phenomenon found that homeowners who agreed to place a small sign in their windows asking drivers to slow down were much more likely to agree to put a larger, more obtrusive sign in their yards later on than those who were not asked to display the smaller sign.

          Smile

          You’re not likely to influence anyone unless you have a smile on your face, but that smile has to be authentic. Humans are masters at detecting a fake smile. A genuine smile makes you more likeable, trustworthy, and ultimately more successful at convincing others.

          Keep things simple

          Want your writing and speech to be the most persuasive? Keep it simple. Studies have shown that writing is much more persuasive when penned at the eighth grade level, even with those who are capable of understanding much more complex language. Simplicity makes things easy to understand and easy to remember, and is a highly effective tool in getting your way.

          Focus on the positive

          Even if there are negative aspects of what you’re trying to persuade others to do, spinning these elements as positive helps create a more overall positive view. Take this study as an example. Researchers created three different ads, one playing up a restaurant’s cozy atmosphere, one simply advertising the restaurant but mentioning its lack of parking spaces, and one combing both the cozy aspect and the lack of parking. The third was the most positively viewed, as the participants felt the lack of parking made the restaurant even cozier.

          Persuasion Techniques You Will Use

          Who are you trying to influence or persuade? What changes are you looking for? Only you can answer those questions and if you really want results you can't go wrong with these proven persuasion techniques used in conversational hypnosis. 

           

           

           


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