Easy Ways to Create an Instant Connection with Someone

Easy ways to create an instant connection with someone include eye contact, mirroring and listening to them. Without these three basics you will not have much success getting others to connect and agree with you. We found a bit more information on these techniques on Changing Minds, Simon Hazeldine  shared his tips for master sales people who need to make instant connections.

Free Stock Images - Businesswoman smiling.
© Photographer: Kurhan | Agency: Dreamstime.com

Do you want to get people to say ‘yes’ to your presentations and proposals? Extensive psychological research demonstrates the importance of ‘liking’ in persuading people to say ‘Yes’.

Master salespeople are adept at utilising powerful psychological strategies to make people like them. Here are three highly effective strategies you can use:

  1. Flash at people! Don’t worry this is quite safe! Body language experts have noted that when people meet people who they know and like, they lift or ‘flash’ their eyebrows upwards for a fraction of a second when first making eye contact. As this movement occurs outside of people’s conscious attention it is often referred to as ‘the unconscious hello’. It sends a powerful message of liking and acceptance to the other person which they will usually reciprocate.
  2. When people like each other they unconsciously mirror each others body language. Psychologists call this “postural echoing”. A very fast and very effective way to encourage people to like you is to mirror their body language. They won’t notice what you are doing at a conscious level but the positive impact of mirroring occurs at a deep unconscious level.
  3. Be genuinely interested in the other person. It is human nature to be interested in what is important to us. When someone else is interested in what is important to us, we cannot help but like them! It is very rare for people to be truly listened to. When this happens people develop a deep bond with the person doing the listening. Say less and listen more, and people will like you for it.
In many situations it is easy to do these three simple techniques to create a connection with someone quickly and without really saying anything specific. Your body language will say more than words every time. Give them a try the next time you need to persuade an individual or a group to follow your suggestions or buy your products.
Let us know how they work for you. Add your comments and questions below.

 

Hypnosis Training: A Lesson In Resistance Removal

David-Van-Arrick---Solid-Go125-130Many people while undergoing hypnosis training are taught about a concept called  “Resistance” unfortunately beyond the simple instruction about giving a good hypnotic  “pre-talk”, almost no one in the hypnosis training industry, or the conversational hypnosis training  industry for that matter EVER seems to address this forgotten domain of covert hypnotic influence.  Makes you start to wonder if they are either holding out on you, or… (maybe they just don’t know how to deal with it themselves hmmm…)

Now

I have to tell you I am on a lot of other hypnotists mailing lists. So obviously, I get A LOT of Email.

Most of it is the hypnotic equivalent of “dog poop” but every now and then I find a few gold nuggets hidden in the poop.

One of which I’d like to share with you and maybe even pass on the challenge to you.

Recently I did  survey to my 1200 plus STEALTH Hypnosis Students safely Tucked away in the STEALTH Hypnosis Training Head Quarters. I was getting ready to launch the next level in their training and I wanted to know exactly what areas they wanted their bonus materials to focus on.

No Surprise to me, but the number one area people wanted to know about was “how to deal with resistance” well the truth is dealing with resistance is very easy once you understand resistance.

And You MUST understand if it you Want To Master How To Defeat It. Notice I didn’t say over come it.

That is what most “persuaders” try to do.

All resistance is a Hypnotic Phenomenon. i.e. a hypnotic operator that can be utilized.

A true master of covert hypnosis is a master of “Utilization.

Utilization is a hypnosis concept that means the ability to use situation or phenomenon that arises in such a way as to use to enhance your hypnotic effects and find a way to use it to generate hypnotic leverage on the mind of the subject.

Recently I got an email from Hypnosis Expert Clifford Mee ( you may know him from www.streethypnosis.com)

In his email Clifford Recounts a Story About the  famous Conversational Hypnosis Master “Milton Erickson”… you May have heard of him Winking smile

Here’s Clifford’s  Email and Challenge for You. ( post your analysis Below in the form of a comment)

A retired policeman once told the legendary hypnotist, Milton Erickson…

"I have emphysema, high blood pressure, and, as you can see, I am grossly
overweight.

   "I drink too much. I eat too much.

   "I want a job but my emphysema and blood pressure prevent that.

   "I would like to cut down on my smoking. I’d like to get rid of it.

   "I’d like to quit drinking about a fifth of whiskey a day and I’d like to eat sensibly."

   Erickson ask him, "Are you married?"

   The policeman replied, "No, I’m a bachelor. I do my own cooking, but
there’s a restaurant right around the corner where I often visit ".

   Erickson said, "So, there’s a handy restaurant around the corner where you
can dine. Where do you buy your cigarettes?"

   He said he bought two cartons at a time.

   Erickson pointed out, "In other words, you buy cigarettes not for today, but
for the future. Now since you do most of your own cooking, where do you shop?"

   The policeman said, "Fortunately, there’s a little grocery store right
around the corner. That’s where I get my groceries and cigarettes."

"Where do you get your liquor?"

   The policeman replied there was one right next door to the grocery.

Erickson summarized the situation.

"So you have a handy restaurant, grocery
and liquor store near your house.

   "You say you want to jog, but you can’t.

   "However, you CAN walk.

   "All right, buy your cigarettes one pack at a time. Walk across town to buy your
pack.

   "That will get you in shape.

   "As for groceries, don’t go to the one by your place. Find another one at least
a mile away.

   "And buy JUST enough for one meal. That’s three nice walks a day.

   "As for the liquor, you can drink all you want to.

   "Take your first drink at a bar at least a mile away.

   "If you want a second drink, find another bar at least a mile away.

   "If you want a third, find another bar a mile away."

   The policeman looked at Milton Erickson angrily.

He cursed at him.

And left.

   A month later, a new patient came by to see Erickson and told him this…

   "A policeman referred me to you and said you were the only psychologist in town
who knew what he was doing."

   This story is worth reading a few times.

   There are many levels to it.

   I’ll show you a couple, and then I’d like you to tell me other levels and interpretations
you’ve found.

   Here’s one…

   Erickson did not DEPRIVE his subject of his wants. He didn’t say you can’t do
this, or you must stop that.

   That’s what well-meaning friends and family do.

Notice it never works.

   Instead, Erickson tells the policeman what he CAN do.

   He can drink all he want, smokes all he wants, eats all he wants.

   But he must walk.

   Now, here’s a second and much deeper level to this story.

   You might be thinking.

   Well, if I heard that I’d disobey and just keep on smoking, drinking and
   over-eating.

   Right?

   Who in the right mind would dutifully follow these absurd instructions?

   Here’s where Erickson is brilliant.

   What is a policeman trained to do from the moment he joins the academy?

He is trained to listen and obey!

   Erickson knew this.

   He has a long history of carrying out orders.

   So Erickson gave this policeman instructions, expecting him to follow it.

And this lesson is extremely important.

   What Erickson did was meet the subject in HIS frame of reference.

   When you begin the process of hypnotizing someone…

   And you’re starting to build trust and rapport, it’s highly important you pay
attention to who your subject is.

   Every little detail.

   A detail like being a policeman and being susceptible to following orders…

   That’s huge.

   Pay attention to your next NEW subject.

   Someone you haven’t hypnotized before.

   As you find out more about who they are, start brainstorming in your head (very
quickly) how you can use what you know about them…

   …to help speed up the induction process.

   That’s all the hypnosis news for today,

   Cliff – Street Hypnosis

P.S. What else did you get out of this story?

So there you have it. In Level 2 of STEALTH Hypnosis I will be devoting an entire Video Maybe more to understanding the “Resistance” phenomenon, what it is, how to defeat it and create powerful compliance in anyone your want… Even if what you want is directly opposite of what they initially want to do.

In the mean time, I’ve created a special FREE Public Access Level Of My STEALTH HYPNOSIS HQ Where you can get instant access to over 30 Videos on Covert and Conversational Hypnosis, Persuasion, Influence, Mind Control Dating and Attraction Skills. It’s Completely Free.

But to protect the content from spammers, info thieves and unscrupulous Marketers, We’ve hidden all of the valuable free goodies behind a membership site.Just go here to set up your username and password and you can start learning hypnosis and how to hypnotize people without them knowing it starting tonight.

That’s it for now.

Enjoy Everything.

Your Loyal Friend In Trance

David Van Arrick

PS: Be sure to post your comment/analysis below before rushing off to start watching all the free videos  talk to you soon.

Learn Hypnosis: Seduction Secrets – The Secret Source of Most High Level Seduction Tactics

 

By the way, How does this relate to hypnosis training?

Very Nicely Actually.

You see all seduction, all dating rituals, all “forms” of attraction are inherently hypnotic. The fact that we don’t “apply” the word or term “hypnosis” to it is irrelevant.

Seduction IS hypnosis.

Hypnosis IS a form of seduction.

I don’t make the rules I just report them.

This particular video is safely tucked away in a really cool new conversational hypnosis training website at http://www.stealth1.secrets-101.com

The owner has about 30 FREE Hypnosis Videos that he’s put together that you might want to check out. Some of them Are Really Good.

Others are just plain outstanding!

Now… On to our regularly scheduled hypnosis post.

There is a fundamental Rule of persuasion,

well actually it’s a fundamental rule that governs pretty much any form of human interaction.

The Things We Create Have The Most Power and Influence Over Us!

Seriously, this principle is so powerful and so pervasive, yet so completely overlooked, that it boggles my mind how easy it actually is to hypnotize people without them knowing by simply doing back to them what they are projecting at you.

This is why I spend so much time studying seduction materials...

They give us a true, real-world understanding of hypnotic principles and hypnotic operators that most people who, as bias of their “clinical” or “classical” training. Simply would not pay attention to.

The truth is the most seduction techniques are based in the courtship behaviors that “women” use to attract men to them in the first place.

Now the beautiful part for those interested in attracting the opposite sex, dating and seduction as well as for those looking for “less than sensual” applications of covert and conversational hypnosis is simply this.

Your subjects are most likely blissfully unaware that they are telling you exactly how to hypnotize them into doing what you want.  Just by the very act of how they treat you.

If, of course, you have enough “situational awareness” to recognize what is actually happening.

This all can be distilled back down to the NLP based principle of matching and mirroring and pacing and leading. Which are the primary tenets of most Ericksonian based hypnosis and NLP courses.

Unfortunately for our purposes. While the disciplines of NLP and Ericksonian hypnosis are wonderful for teaching us “about” the principles and of course giving them fancy names.

They don’t help us much out in the real world beyond basic therapy applications.

“yawn” … er I mean…  therapy is okay, but…

How does it really help me get money?

More Dates, etc.

Better Relationships, Even… Dare I say it…

More Sex?

If any of the above mentioned “basic human desires” sounded appealing I’d stay away from the more classical (and somewhat impractical) approaches to learning hypnosis and/or hypnosis training.

You are probably better off trying out something like David Van Arrick’s  S.T.E.A.L.T.H. Hypnosis

David Just Added A new FREE Public Level  with Over Thirty FREE Videos That anyone who wants to learn hypnosis online can log in to and watch.

If you are looking for hypnosis training and conversational hypnosis skills that work in the real world, that are fast, easy to use and fun to learn.

Check Out David’s new Site – I thought it was really cool… but then again. I’m a little biased.

Proven Persuasion Techniques Used in Conversational Hypnosis

 

Proven persuasion techniques used in conversational hypnosis

I came across this great list of proven persuasion techniques used in conversational hypnosis and I was sure many of you would enjoy them. They are very straightforward and I’ve only selected a few to highlight today but even if you just choose one or two you can really get good at, you’ll notice changes in the way others respond to you. So, here are some of the 30 proven persuasion techniques used in conversational hypnosis, found on Changing Minds.org that you can use to be more persuasive. 

“Whether we realize it or not, we use persuasive techniques every day to get the things we want by influencing others. While it may seem like some people are born to charm their way through life, persuading others with an enviable ease, the whole shebang at its heart is a science — something that anyone can learn to master with enough practice. If you’re looking to brush up your persuasion skills, whether to get your foot in the door at a business, sell a product, or even get a promotion, here are some tricks and tips that can help give you that desirable silver tongue. Backed up by loads of social science research, these techniques are sure to give you an edge in any negotiation or debate.

Be the first to give

Reciprocity is a powerful force in our society and one that can be used to sway others. Doing a favor for someone you want to persuade can help to put them in your debt, and may make them more willing to help you out in the future. One study found that waiters who gave diners mints before they placed the bill on the table got consistently more tips than those who didn’t.

Admit your weaknesses

When others see you as being more trustworthy, they’ll be much more likely to go along with what you’re trying to persuade them to do, whether it’s hire you or buy what you’re selling. It may sound counter-intuitive, but studies have confirmed the validity of admitting weakness. One such study sent out identical resumes with different cover letters, with one of the letters admitting a weakness. The honest cover letter-resume combo received many more call backs than the other which focused only on the positives.

Highlight not only what others have to gain, but also what they have to lose

Most people who are looking for a job highlight only what employers have to gain by hiring them, but research supports the importance of also pointing out what others stand to lose in a deal. Potential losses actually create a bigger impact than potential gains in the decision-making process, so no matter what you’re trying to convince others to do, show both sides of the coin.

Showcase the reactions of others

Humans are highly social animals, and we often make decisions based on the actions and beliefs of others. For instance, hotel guests are more likely to reuse their towels if they are shown a message stating that many others are already doing this, rather than one that promotes the environmental aspects of reuse alone. For those in the working world, testimonials and recommendations can be powerful factors in helping others to make decisions.

Find common ground

Likeability is often a key factor in winning people over and studies have shown time and again that one of the key factors in influencing how much a person likes another is how many similarities they share. So if you’re seeking to persuade, take time to find out about the other person’s interests and determine what common ground you two may share.

Get a foot in the door

Sometimes effectively persuading someone comes in baby steps, and getting them to stay yes to something small can lead to a greater chance that they’ll be on board with a larger idea in the future. A study on this phenomenon found that homeowners who agreed to place a small sign in their windows asking drivers to slow down were much more likely to agree to put a larger, more obtrusive sign in their yards later on than those who were not asked to display the smaller sign.

Smile

You’re not likely to influence anyone unless you have a smile on your face, but that smile has to be authentic. Humans are masters at detecting a fake smile. A genuine smile makes you more likeable, trustworthy, and ultimately more successful at convincing others.

Keep things simple

Want your writing and speech to be the most persuasive? Keep it simple. Studies have shown that writing is much more persuasive when penned at the eighth grade level, even with those who are capable of understanding much more complex language. Simplicity makes things easy to understand and easy to remember, and is a highly effective tool in getting your way.

Focus on the positive

Even if there are negative aspects of what you’re trying to persuade others to do, spinning these elements as positive helps create a more overall positive view. Take this study as an example. Researchers created three different ads, one playing up a restaurant’s cozy atmosphere, one simply advertising the restaurant but mentioning its lack of parking spaces, and one combing both the cozy aspect and the lack of parking. The third was the most positively viewed, as the participants felt the lack of parking made the restaurant even cozier.

Who are you trying to influence or persuade? What changes are you looking for? Only you can answer those questions and if you really want results you can’t go wrong with these proven persuasion techniques used in conversational hypnosis. 

 

Language of Persuasion and Covert Hypnosis

There is a distinct language of persuasion and covert hypnosis that an individual must master in order to become really comfortable with any hypnosis technique. Today’s article found on Slaw.ca on how to close more clients using persuasion, discusses mirroring and other anchoring techniques that speak the language of persuasion and covert hypnosis with every single word.

What is mirroring and how do you do without someone knowing?

“In his book, Influence, The Psychology of Persuasion, Robert B. Cialdini, Ph.D. discusses many factors that affect how persuasive you can be with others. Cialdini was also one of the authors of Yes! 50 Scientifically Proven Ways to Be Persuasive, co-authored by Noah J Goldstein and Steve J. Martin.”

“Lawyers can use these persuasive techniques to help them increase the percentage of inquiries or initial consultations that turn into paid client engagements.”

“People like people who are like themselves; they hire people that they know, like and trust. In your initial consultation, you need to build up the like and trust factors in order to increase the chances that the potential client will want to work with you by the end of the consultation.”

“In an earlier post, Who Are You Marketing To, I talked about clients being a reflection of you:”

“People do business with people they know, like and trust. Clients are attracted to people who, at least in some ways, resemble them. In order to trust someone, you must feel comfortable that the person you’re working with shares some of your values and goals. Identifying your individual values and what you stand for can help clarify the kinds of clients that you will work best with.”

“In other words, you can identify the kinds of clients you want to work with by understanding more about yourself. In the same way, expressing an understanding of who your clients or potential clients are and what their concerns are can help persuade clients to retain you. The authors of Yes! suggest that mirroring behavior plays upon the natural inclination to like those who are similar to you; reflecting the client’s words and body language can help you seal the deal.”

“I’ve talked about “speaking your clients’ language” before (most recently in the context of networking); instead of using legal jargon or words only lawyers use, use the words your clients use. Legalese and jargon create more distance between you and your audience.”

“If your goal is to demonstrate your expertise and show potential clients and referral sources that you understand their problems and can help them, you want them to feel like they know you and that you understand them and their problems.”

“Mirroring verbal language makes clients feel understood. It increases their positive feelings toward you and makes them more likely to decide to retain you to represent them. Matching the rate and volume at which you speak to your client and mirroring their body language can further reinforce those feelings of closeness and comfort, foster rapport and can also aid in your persuasiveness.”

“Don’t make sudden or drastic changes, but be cognizant of how the potential client speaks and their body language. Be careful not to mimic or copy the other person exactly or your efforts can backfire.”

“Mirroring may not work in situations where a client is anxious or overly excited – in that case, mirroring by repeating the client’s concerns back to them, making sure that they know they have been heard and understood, but consciously not mirroring their anxiety level or rate of speech may be more persuasive.”

“In those instances, you may be more persuasive by being more calm and reassuring, and you may even be able to get them to mirror you. When the potential client begins to mirror you, you’ll know you are well on your way to being in synch and signing a new client.”

There are so many ways to practice the art of mirroring and the more you practice of course, the sooner you will master it. Mirror with your family and friends. Try it out on people at work or when you go out. Practice it even for few seconds with a waitress or barber. You can practice the language of persuasion and covert hypnosis almost anywhere.